Okay, I am taking it more seriously now, because I figured it out; I know why Saddam Hussein really put suicide belts on his soldiers. It took a post from the redoubtable James Lileks to prod me into figuring it out, but I think I've got it. Seriously, this time.
Keeping up morale in a conscript army is tough in any case. It makes it a bit easier if you can demonize the enemy, convince them that those heathen American will stampede the women and rape the cattle, and they skin their prisoners alive, so do what the nice political officer tells you and don't even think about surrendering.
That becomes harder if you have a few "veterans" of Gulf War One still around. "Yeah, kid, I remember surrendering to the Yankee dogs. They gave us all the water we wanted, and the first actual meal I'd eaten in two weeks. They had something called 'Cool Ranch Doritos'. I'm looking forward to surrendering again; I want to try the Nacho Cheese this time."
Okay, I'm slipping back into comedy mode (sorry), but you get the idea. Attempts to scare the troops about the horrors that await them if they surrender to the Americans will lack credibility, due to previous experience.
But what if some of the soldiers "surrendering" are actually suicide bombers? Will the Americans be so quick to accept surrender after a few such prospective prisoners have blown themselves up, and taken their captors with them? Aren't the Americans more likely to simply shoot any Iraqi solder they see, whether he has his hands in the air or not?
Well, no. We have some idea of the real level of loyalty and willingness to sacrifice at work here (i.e., little to none). American troops approached by surrendering Iraqi soldiers might require them to lift their shirts and show that they're not packing, but that shouldn't slow things down much.
But remember that this idea isn't directed at us; it's aimed at the Iraqi conscripts, and it just might get some traction with them. No Cool Ranch Doritos for you, fella; the Yankees will shoot you on sight because they think you might have a bomb. Just follow orders like a good soldier, and you might actually survive. It's the only explanation I've got that makes any sense.
But maybe making sense is optional. Maybe I'm giving the Baath military planners too much credit, and they really just think suicide bomb belts are cool and macho. I hope they really are that dumb. But the disincentive to surrender might still apply, even if it's not the explicit intent.
Comments, anyone? (Hint, hint, see link below.)
Posted by Kevin Shaum at August 13, 2002 02:29 PM